Top 5 Things I’m Glad Jen Does

There are always things we don’t like to do. Most of it has to do with work. Well, ok, all of it. When you’re married, whether you are conscious of it or not, you tend to offload the stuff you don’t like or are not good at onto your spouse. I don’t think it’s conscious most of the time. It’s not like we started living together and I said “I’m not doing laundry, cooking or cleaning…that’s for Jen”. I never said that, by the way. Nor did that ever come to pass. Nor will it ever! But other things just simply happen because it somehow fits.

So, here are the top five things I’m quite happy Jen does that I don’t have to do:

1. Cutting the kids’ nails

I’m not the best nail cutter in the world. My own nails look, most of the time, like I’ve taken an old rusty machete to them. I always cut them too short, despite my best efforts. You know, just short enough that the skin underneath is exposed and you have that little bit of constant pain lingering for a day or two, especially when you cut an onion and the onion juice gets under there and…you get the picture. Well, this also applies to kids. Not the onion juice. The nail cutting. You see, when the boy was a wee babe, no more than one or two months old, he would constantly scratch himself in the face with his nails. We would put little mittens on him, but they would always fall off. Anyway, I thought, let’s just cut his nails. That was stupid. Because the very first nail I cut, well…I went a little too far, as I usually do. And I drew blood. I was horrified and found myself apologizing profusely to a 2-month-old boy screaming his head off. Ever since, Jen has taken on that role and I am more than happy to relinquish it.

2. Cleaning up puke

I consider myself a tough guy. I can see blood and open wounds without flinching. I have a fairly high tolerance for pain (except for the nail thing, that irks me). But I cannot tolerate puke. Kids being kids, they puke. They puke anywhere and everywhere. You have to love that ability to simply let go without feeling bad (about the puke being everywhere). Like the boy the other month. He had gone to Kung Fu in the morning, and we had spent some time after at Future Shop and Canadian Tire. Since it was close to lunch, we decided to go to Wendy’s.  He wasn’t looking too hot at Wendy’s, so time to go home. It’s a five minute ride to our house from there. Five freaking minutes. Yep, he just heeved up that fresh Wendy’s lunch all over the backseat of my new car. Once we got home, I tried to clean it up while Jen took the boy inside. But I nearly heaved up my lunch two or three times doing it. Lucky for me, Jen was quick to come to my rescue.

3. Taking care of the bills

I hate bills. I really despise paying them, making sure they’re paid on time, etc. I suppose it’s because I manage a large budget at work. I just don’t feel like doing it at home as well. It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m lazy and a procrastinator at home. Nothing. But Jen always makes sure all the bills are paid, the budget is in good shape, that we meet with our financial advisor once in a while, etc. She’s good at it as well. So heck, why not?

4. Doing the gardening

Let’s face it, I’m not a gardener. Never have been, never will be. I’ll take care of the grass, but only because my neighbours might get a little ornery if I let my front yard go wild. I’ll cut the tree branches back, ’cause I have to. But Jen loves gardening. Every spring, she always cleans out the gardens, plants those type of plants that you have to plant every year, what are they called…periodicals? Perennials? Annuals? Whatever. Flowers and green stuff. But I’ll admit, they do spruce up the look of our home. After she is done, the front and back yards look like a million bucks. To be clear, this was not something that happened  intuitively. I pretty much laid it out that I wasn’t a gardener when we bought the house.

5. Doing the math homework

The boy has reached Grade 4. This basically eliminates me from helping him with his math homework. I’m out. It’s not that I suck at math. I get the basic stuff, but when you start throwing in fractions or problems (e.g. Jack is driving at 20 kph…), I get the cold sweats, feel a knot in my stomach and want to run for the nearest exit. Basically, I peaked with multiplications and divisions and have stayed there for over 30 years. That’s where Jen comes in. She gets math no problem, although for some reason she can never determine what the tip should be at the restaurant. BUT, she knows HOW to get to the answer, and that’s why she will now be doing all the math homework.

Have a look at Jen’s top 5!

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8 Responses to “Top 5 Things I’m Glad Jen Does”

  1. Tips? That’s what calculators are for!

  2. Christina Says:

    Loving the blog thing, every week I learn a little more about you two!

  3. This blog made me laugh out loud many times! Onion juice hurts I completely agree!

  4. Math is kind of like the puke of the homework pile anyway. So that makes a lot of sense.

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