Dishwasher Wars: Reporting from the front lines

I have seen mayhem. I have seen chaos. I have also seen the leftover remains of meals long since expired. In short, I am a veteran of 13 years of combat centred on the dishwasher. Against my wife.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my wife. But any couple who have been around each other for a long time are bound to have a few things that drive each other batty (like the coffee cups left lying around the house with just a tiny bit of coffee left in it so that when you pick it up it sloshes around and goes flying out of the cup…no wait, focus…this is about the dishwasher).

You see, Jen and I have very different tactics for loading the dishwasher. I have developed what I find to be an extremely efficient way of loading the dishes that allows for the maximum of dishes to be cleaned at once. Especially for the top rack and Tupperware (I use Tupperware generically here, I mean everything that looks like Tupperware).  This is where the battle for dishwasher supremacy rages supreme.

Jen loads the top rack her way, which in my books is defined as fitting the fewest amount of plastic containers, glasses and cups as possible, leaving a pile on the counter for later. Of course, when I see that, I cannot leave it alone. I have to make my move. But like a wizened veteran of many battles, I wait for the right moment to launch my counter-attack. Usually, we run the dishwasher late at night, to save on electricity and water costs. This means that Jen will often go to bed before it starts. Since I go to bed later than she does, I can make my move with impunity. I rearrange everything so that it fits and voilà, the next morning we have a bunch of clean dishes!

Now, Jen will no doubt tell you that when it comes to Tupperware, my technique does not allow for proper cleaning. But I call bulls…! Rarely, if ever, do I see grime on the lids or in the containers. However, Jen’s technique, which is to put the Tupperware containers down in their own little slots as opposed to stacked side by side, allows for them to flip over during washing and gather a pool of water containing bits of floating food remnants. I have to wash those by hand again!

In any case, I’m not going to complain too much. After all, Jen loads the dishwasher most times. Despite our differences, we have developed a system that works because, well, we have clean dishes every morning! Now, if we could only get the kids to load that bloody dishwasher…

See what Jen has to say!


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